Nothing runs up your legal fees in divorce faster than urgent phone calls and late night emails to your lawyer. Dialing your lawyer about custody or possible arrest is reasonable. But some things are not urgent: your blender is not an important part of your divorce (even if it is a “Vitamix”).
But your world is turned upside down right now! That’s why you hired a lawyer – to guide you with pragmatic and unemotional response to your life drama. Here are my top 4 tips that will keep your legal fees in check:
Penny Williams is a mom on a mission to guide and mentor parents raising kids with ADHD and/or autism. Parent of a son with ADHD and autism, Penny is the author of three award-winning books on parenting kids with ADHD. Penny is the current editor of ParentingADHDandAutism.com, Founder and Instructor for The Parenting ADHD & Autism Academy, and she also hosts the Parenting ADHD Podcast.
I talked with Penny about the difficulties of dealing with divorce and co-parenting kids with ADHD, especially when the parents don’t agree on ADHD treatment and parenting. There are ways to pre-plan for these parenting disagreements during the divorce process, as well as resources and recourse for resolution after.
Listen in on our discussion and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Every married woman needs at least $5,000 in a bank account in her own name — no matter what her husband thinks.
Far too many women are going to reject this mandate as an act of marital treason. Let’s be clear: I didn’t say the account had to be a secret. I leave that up to the individual woman. Nor did I suggest that you shouldn’t care what your partner thinks. In a healthy relationship, you should absolutely care about his opinion. But you should have an account, regardless.
A client that I’ll call “Tanya” had a problem. Her husband was not only sleeping with her best friend, but he ran up more than $35k in credit card debt to take his affair on a trip to Thailand. Tanya was humiliated and angry. “I have done everything for him and the kids while he’s been parading around his girlfriend — my best friend — behind my back!” she said. “He needs to pay for this; I want revenge.” Revenge. Payback. Vengeance. What better place than a divorce court to get revenge on your spouse, right?
But this was Tanya’s realproblem: divorce is not revenge. And divorce court is absolutely not the place to seek retribution. Surprised? Here are my top 5 reasons why divorce is not the place to get revenge on your spouse: Continue reading “Divorce Is Not Revenge.”→
Michael looked at me with a stunned glare. I re-ran the child support calculations again. After some (but not all) of his taxes were considered, the calculator showed the same number, 25% of his income for child support. “I knew I was going to pay; I just didn’t know it was going to be that much!”
Primary bread-winners repeat after me: you agreed to pay the bills during the marriage and you are stuck paying after the divorce.
Many times, the amount isn’t unfair, but rather the fact that you are forced to pay an ex-spouse (who probably gave you some emotional scars). And, on top of that, you have no ability to control how that money is spent (or if that money is even spent on the child — or her endless shoe collection). Continue reading “Child-Support: Fair or Fail?”→
Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about 10 years but at the time, he had agreed to pay through the nose.
“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage, and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His feelings of guilt landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.