Divorce Is Not Revenge.

www.TheDivorceArtist.comA client that I’ll call “Tanya” had a problem. Her husband was not only sleeping with her best friend, but he ran up more than $35k in credit card debt to take his affair on a trip to Thailand. Tanya was humiliated and angry. “I have done everything for him and the kids while he’s been parading around his girlfriend — my best friend — behind my back!” she said. “He needs to pay for this; I want revenge.” Revenge. Payback. Vengeance. What better place than a divorce court to get revenge on your spouse, right?

But this was Tanya’s real problem: divorce is not revenge. And divorce court is absolutely not the place to seek retribution. Surprised? Here are my top 5 reasons why divorce is not the place to get revenge on your spouse: Continue reading “Divorce Is Not Revenge.”

Child-Support: Fair or Fail?

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Michael looked at me with a stunned glare. I re-ran the child support calculations again. After some (but not all) of his taxes were considered, the calculator showed the same number, 25% of his income for child support. “I knew I was going to pay; I just didn’t know it was going to be that much!”

Primary bread-winners repeat after me: you agreed to pay the bills during the marriage and you are stuck paying after the divorce.

Many times, the amount isn’t unfair, but rather the fact that you are forced to pay an ex-spouse (who probably gave you some emotional scars). And, on top of that, you have no ability to control how that money is spent (or if that money is even spent on the child — or her endless shoe collection).  Continue reading “Child-Support: Fair or Fail?”

This #1 Mistake Can Break Your Bank In Your Divorce

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Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about 10 years but at the time, he had agreed to pay through the nose.

“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage, and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His feelings of guilt landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.

This is called Divorce Guilt and it can plague the spouse who is seeking the divorce.   Continue reading “This #1 Mistake Can Break Your Bank In Your Divorce”

Men: The True Price of a Bad Divorce?

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The other day at lunch a client was telling me that he couldn’t figure out what he did wrong: “I never cheated. I never drank. I never hit her,” he lamented. “What happened? Why is she so angry?”

I see it all the time: male clients completely surprised when their wives ask for a divorce. More importantly, when the case turns nasty — often involving family offense allegations or arrest — male clients might lose advantages that they had going into a case. Bad divorces can cost you time with the kids and extra money in support and legal fees.

Here are my top tips for men to help avoid the price-tag of a contentious divorce and strive to find an amicable solution: Continue reading “Men: The True Price of a Bad Divorce?”

Divorce Rates Double for “Gray Divorce” (those 50+)

At a time when #divorce is becoming less common for younger adults, so-called “gray divorce” is on the rise: Among U.S. adults ages 50 and older, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s, according to a new Pew Research study. Gray divorcees tend to be less financially secure than married and widowed adults, particularly among women. And living alone at older ages can be detrimental to one’s financial comfort and, for men, their satisfaction with their social lives. www.RichardsonLegalPLLC.com

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How to REALLY Win Your Divorce

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All of your reasons for getting divorced are totally valid. But what do you tell your friends? And how do you respond when your coworkers or your mother says “not to throw a good man away” or “she’s not so bad, try harder.”

I’ve seen it in my practice a million times — a spouse comes up with a million reasons why their ex- is a horrible person, shouldn’t see the kids and should be in jail. (The term “narcissist” is trending but I doubt the numbers of diagnosed narcissism has risen.)

The real culprit: Divorce guilt. Continue reading “How to REALLY Win Your Divorce”

My Four Reasons Why 2016 Didn’t Absolutely Suck.

2014-03-08 14.04.57-2There’s a shared feeling that 2016 has been a terrible, horrible, no-good year. While some curve-balls hit me in the gut (*cough*election*), this year was far from my worst. Here are my four reason that this year didn’t absolutely suck: Continue reading “My Four Reasons Why 2016 Didn’t Absolutely Suck.”