Penny Williams is a mom on a mission to guide and mentor parents raising kids with ADHD and/or autism. Parent of a son with ADHD and autism, Penny is the author of three award-winning books on parenting kids with ADHD. Penny is the current editor of ParentingADHDandAutism.com, Founder and Instructor for The Parenting ADHD & Autism Academy, and she also hosts the Parenting ADHD Podcast.
I talked with Penny about the difficulties of dealing with divorce and co-parenting kids with ADHD, especially when the parents don’t agree on ADHD treatment and parenting. There are ways to pre-plan for these parenting disagreements during the divorce process, as well as resources and recourse for resolution after.
Listen in on our discussion and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Divorce often intersects with couples therapy. Many times my clients are just coming to new realizations about their marriage during couples counseling or have tried many times over to make it work. Two excellent therapists and certified coaches that I had the chance to speak with are Poppy and Geoff Spencer. Their work and their marriage — to each other — has been documented in their #1 bestselling book “One Billion Seconds: There’s Still Time to Discover Love.” This dynamic pair discussed a host of different issues when it comes to the realization that a divorce may be on the horizon on the podcast: The Relationship Restaurant. The podcast focus is on “a figurative place where you can feel comfortable and safe to explore your relationship questions and concerns, so you can create your very own heart healthy relationships.”
This Thursday, Morghan Richardson will be discussing Prenups and Property issues at the famed Friars Club in Midtown. Joining will be Compass Real Estate Broker Elizabeth Schwartz. Free event but space is limited — RSVP here. Come join us from 6pm to 8pm for drinks and snacks.
A client that I’ll call “Tanya” had a problem. Her husband was not only sleeping with her best friend, but he ran up more than $35k in credit card debt to take his affair on a trip to Thailand. Tanya was humiliated and angry. “I have done everything for him and the kids while he’s been parading around his girlfriend — my best friend — behind my back!” she said. “He needs to pay for this; I want revenge.” Revenge. Payback. Vengeance. What better place than a divorce court to get revenge on your spouse, right?
But this was Tanya’s realproblem: divorce is not revenge. And divorce court is absolutely not the place to seek retribution. Surprised? Here are my top 5 reasons why divorce is not the place to get revenge on your spouse: Continue reading “Divorce Is Not Revenge.”→
Michael looked at me with a stunned glare. I re-ran the child support calculations again. After some (but not all) of his taxes were considered, the calculator showed the same number, 25% of his income for child support. “I knew I was going to pay; I just didn’t know it was going to be that much!”
Primary bread-winners repeat after me: you agreed to pay the bills during the marriage and you are stuck paying after the divorce.
Many times, the amount isn’t unfair, but rather the fact that you are forced to pay an ex-spouse (who probably gave you some emotional scars). And, on top of that, you have no ability to control how that money is spent (or if that money is even spent on the child — or her endless shoe collection). Continue reading “Child-Support: Fair or Fail?”→
Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about 10 years but at the time, he had agreed to pay through the nose.
“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage, and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His feelings of guilt landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.
The other day at lunch a client was telling me that he couldn’t figure out what he did wrong: “I never cheated. I never drank. I never hit her,” he lamented. “What happened? Why is she so angry?”
I see it all the time: male clients completely surprised when their wives ask for a divorce. More importantly, when the case turns nasty — often involving family offense allegations or arrest — male clients might lose advantages that they had going into a case. Bad divorces can cost you time with the kids and extra money in support and legal fees.