Preparing to divorce and then COVID-19 crisis hit?
Here are some tips on how to deal with “forced togetherness” during the quarantine, so your divorce can be peaceful once it’s lifted.
Maybe you made the decision to end your marriage prior to the Coronavirus crisis, but had not yet told your spouse – you wanted to prepare for divorce first so you could take steps to keep things as peaceful as possible.
Or maybe you and your husband or wife agreed to divorce and took preliminary steps to interview attorneys or mediators, but before you went ahead and hired a professional and started the divorce process, self-quarantine and shelter-in-place directives were imposed.
Then, in an instant, your divorce plans came to a screeching halt.
If you are now quarantined together in the same household, you are likely feeling trapped, stressed and overwhelmed. And that anxiety is only compounded by kids home from school, working from home, job and financial uncertainty and concerns about your health and the well-being of your loved ones.
Hot as hell and I’m walking by a couple on the sidewalk in New York City. They have a new baby. And I remember this feeling. He’s silent, standing with the stroller. His face is annoyed — like his woman could just disappear from earth and it wouldn’t matter to him. She’s saying something. She’s trying to suppress tears, frustration and still seem calm and attune to the hot wiggling baby in her arms. It’s not supposed to be this hard, she’s thinking. There’s supposed to be joy packed into this thing called love somehow, somewhere. Continue reading “Does Your Relationship Spark Joy?”→
This Vlog is a short chat about the basics of Alimony (called “maintenance” in New York) and child support under the statutory framework. Keep in mind that these are quick explanations of complicated areas that have many exceptions. But I give you the basic run-down on what we are talking about when looking at maintenance and child support figures – a good starting point before any deviations or exceptions!
Questions? Feel free to join in the comments or send me an email.
Over the years as a divorce attorney I’ve seen hundreds of relationships falling to pieces in a variety of creative ways. Time and again people come up with new ways to screw up their marriages. But too often my clients knew they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place! Rather than walk down the aisle, they should have run the other direction. Here are three serious red flags that you shouldn’t stay in the relationship (or heed my warning: your story will end the same way!) Continue reading “Ladies: Three Red Flags The Relationship Is Doomed (And Why You Should Run!)”→
Last month, associate Rachel Goldenberg and I co-authored a piece about the ways in which Divorce Mediation might be able to help solve the “Get” crisis — an increasing problem faced by religious Jewish women when their putative ex-husband refuses to give them a religious divorce. The piece struck a chord within the mediation community and has been picked up by The Huffington Post, The Times of Israel and now, we are so pleased that Mediate.com has entered into this conversation.
While our article focused on the many benefits that mediation might have in providing a forum for Jewish couples facing divorce, the same can be said for couples that practice other religious beliefs where a religious divorce is also a necessary part of the dissolution of their relationship. Asking for a civil divorce is difficult enough; asking for two divorces can be even more overwhelming.
Leah was still chained to her ex-husband: two years after the civil court granted her a divorce, her ex-husband Dovid, a devote orthodox Jew, still refused to give her a religious divorce called a “get.” Without the religious divorce, Leah would not be able to remarry – or even date – in her community. Her life was on hold, tied to her ex- at his whim. And she is not alone.
The number of Jewish women being denied a religious divorce is on the rise. The results are devastating: younger women with children and little money are forced to forgo financial payments or even custody in exchange for a get. Out of desperation, people start taking matters into their own hands. Recently several rabbis were arrested in a plot to beat reluctant husbands into giving gets. This so-called “Get Crisis,” is the product of a myriad of factors, which may be avoided by using divorce mediation.
I know an amazing mother of four children. She is on her second marriage and this time, the marriage is extremely successful. She and her caring, supportive husband are both school teachers. They have two-year-old twins and a house with — literally — a white-picket fence around it. It wasn’t always this way.
I’ll call this woman “Anne.”
Anne’s ex-husband was an obsessive, controlling and verbally abusive police officer. He drank. He cheated. And when Anne protested, he threatened to use his job to take custody of their preschool-aged kids and make her life a living hell. He also threatened to use his position as the sole bread-winner to hire the best lawyer and steam-roll over her in court. Yet, rather than feeling trapped and overwhelmed, Anne seized control of the situation — by taking control of her finances.