
Divorce in New York isn’t just about dividing property: it’s also about figuring out whether one spouse owes the other ongoing support, known here as maintenance (what people in other states call “alimony”). And in Manhattan, where lifestyles can include doormen, Hamptons shares, and $150 spin classes before breakfast, maintenance awards aren’t always driven by numbers on a W-2. Sometimes, they’re driven by lifestyle.
So when does lifestyle matter more than income? The answer is: when the standard of living during the marriage creates expectations the law is designed to protect, especially in marriages with big disparities in earnings. Let’s talk about it:
The Basics: Statutory Guidelines vs. Judicial Discretion
New York has statutory formulas that set a baseline for maintenance. These guidelines consider both spouses’ incomes and apply caps (currently at $228,000 of the payor’s income). But here’s the catch: the law also gives judges broad discretion to deviate from the formula when the numbers don’t reflect reality.

And in high-lifestyle marriages ** especially in Manhattan ** reality often looks very different from the guidelines. A Wall Street banker earning millions a year and a spouse who gave up their career to raise kids aren’t going to have their lives reduced to the formula’s output. Courts can and do look beyond the math to the actual marital lifestyle.
Why Lifestyle Matters
The central idea behind maintenance is fairness. If one spouse supported the family financially while the other built the household, the law recognizes that both contributions matter. Lifestyle is supposed to be the measuring stick for what “fair” looks like.
In cases where a couple lived in a Park Avenue apartment, vacationed in Europe twice a year, and sent their kids to private school, the court isn’t likely to say: “Well, the formula spits out $7,500 a month, so that’s good enough.” Judges are tasked with trying to approximate, to the extent possible, the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage.
That doesn’t mean the lifestyle is preserved dollar-for-dollar or forever; divorce almost always means fewer resources to go around. But the courts recognize that fairness includes avoiding a situation where one spouse maintains the penthouse lifestyle while the other is downgraded to a studio and canned beans.
Disparities in Income: The Manhattan Divide
Nowhere is the gap between spouses’ incomes more stark than in Manhattan divorces. You might see one spouse earning $2 million a year at a hedge fund while the other left the workforce a decade ago to manage the home.
In these cases, courts balance two things:
- Ability to Pay: The higher earner can afford to maintain some continuity of lifestyle for both parties.
- Need: The lower-earning or non-earning spouse is entitled to maintain, at least in part, the lifestyle they helped create.
The income disparity makes lifestyle especially important. Without lifestyle as a yardstick, the lower-earning spouse could be left with far less than what the marital partnership promised.
Case Examples: Lifestyle Driving Awards

Here are a few examples of lifestyle factors that might influence an award:
1. Real Estate & Housing Costs
- Courts pay close attention to whether the lower-earning spouse can remain in a comparable living situation.
- If the marriage involved a luxury co-op, brownstone, or doorman building, the cost of maintaining or replacing that housing is part of the marital lifestyle analysis.
2. Travel & Vacations
- Courts do look at whether the couple regularly traveled abroad, maintained summer homes in the Hamptons, or took seasonal ski trips.
- These discretionary spending patterns show the level of resources available during the marriage and can support higher awards.
3. Domestic Help & Household Services
- Full-time nannies, housekeepers, drivers, or personal chefs are found in high-income Manhattan households.
- If a spouse was accustomed to that support, courts recognize that it shapes lifestyle, and may include it in maintenance considerations.
4. Social & Cultural Memberships
- Membership at private clubs, country clubs, or charitable organizations can be part of the “standard of living” evidence.
- Courts won’t guarantee every luxury, but they do factor in the social milieu the parties maintained.
5. Health & Wellness Costs
- Personal trainers, boutique fitness memberships, cosmetic procedures, or high-end medical services can all be lifestyle components.
- Particularly when they are longstanding habits (not just “luxuries”), they reinforce the standard of living claim.
6. Length of the Marriage & Career Sacrifices
- A spouse who gave up or scaled back a career during a long marriage to support the household is more likely to have maintenance tied to sustaining lifestyle, since they’re unlikely to suddenly generate comparable income on their own.
Limits: Lifestyle Isn’t a Blank Check
Of course, lifestyle isn’t the only factor, and courts don’t blindly replicate it. Judges also consider the length of the marriage, each spouse’s age and health, and the recipient’s ability to become self-supporting.
For example, in a shorter marriage with a lavish lifestyle, the court may be less willing to extend high maintenance for long. Whereas, in a long marriage where one spouse sacrificed a career, the court is more inclined to weigh lifestyle heavily and extend support over many years.
Courts also look at whether one spouse gave up career opportunities or supported the other’s professional growth. If one partner left the workforce to manage the household while the other built a high-powered Wall Street career, that sacrifice carries weight in determining maintenance.
Health is another factor: a spouse with ongoing medical needs or who is unlikely to reenter the workforce at a meaningful level is more likely to receive a lifestyle-based award. By contrast, a younger spouse with an advanced degree and recent work history may be expected to transition toward financial independence more quickly.
Finally, courts consider the availability of other assets. If a spouse is walking away from the divorce with significant equitable distribution, such as a multimillion-dollar property settlement or investment portfolio, that may reduce the need for ongoing maintenance, even in a high-lifestyle marriage. On the other hand, where liquid assets are limited, maintenance may become the main tool to preserve fairness and continuity.
The Manhattan Reality
At the end of the day, maintenance in Manhattan often reflects more than just income and formulas. It reflects the reality that lifestyle is part of what couples build together. When there’s a dramatic disparity in income, lifestyle evidence becomes crucial to making sure maintenance awards aren’t just theoretically fair, but practical.
That can mean a high earner’s ex-spouse still budgets for Pilates sessions or a summer rental in the Hamptons, not as a “reward,” but as recognition that both spouses invested in creating that life. Maintenance isn’t about penalizing the earner; it’s about ensuring that both parties can leave the marriage with dignity.