In New York, we want things to move fast: cabs, Seamless deliveries, information, and yes, even divorces. The city that never sleeps does not have the patience for endless waiting. But here’s the catch: when it comes to divorce, “fast and cheap” often turns into “messy and expensive.”
The Lure of the Quick Divorce
If you Google “cheap NYC divorce,” you’ll get pages of ads promising uncontested divorces filed in days, “no lawyers required,” all for the low low-cost of a couple of cocktails in Soho. Tempting, right? Why spend thousands on attorneys when you and your spouse can sign a few papers, call it quits, and get back to your lives?
But life — and divorce — is rarely that simple.
What Gets Missed in a Quick Divorce?
1. Hidden Assets and Debts.
New York is an equitable distribution state. That means marital assets (and debts) should be divided fairly, not necessarily equally. But if you rush through paperwork, you may never know about the secret accounts that your spouse is hiding, or the deferred comp they’re sitting on at work. By the time you find out, it may be too late to do anything about it. On the flip side, a rushed agreement might lump all of the assets into a similar division, without consideration of the finer details of how much work one spouse may have committed towards achieving some of those assets.
2. Housing Headaches.
Here’s a very NYC problem: who stays in the apartment? If it’s rent-stabilized, that lease is worth gold. If it’s a co-op, you’re dealing with board approval, financing issues, and sometimes impossible buyouts. And there are some special income-based co-ops (hello Mitchell Lama program) that become very complex when dealing with housing issues in the divorce. Rushing past these details can leave one spouse locked out, both literally and financially.
3. Custody Chaos.
If you have kids, speed is your enemy. A “quickie” agreement that doesn’t spell out parenting schedules, school choices, or holiday traditions almost guarantees future litigation. And trust me, nothing about custody court is quick, or cheap. The speed can also give the kids whiplash, and that is one area where you want to move slow and steady whenever possible for their best interests.
4. Support Shortfalls.
Spousal maintenance and child support in New York are calculated using guidelines, but those numbers don’t always reflect NYC realities. A cookie-cutter agreement may not account for private school tuition, after-school activities, or the sky-high cost of childcare. By rushing, you risk locking yourself into a deal that doesn’t actually meet your needs, or your child’s.
The Real Cost of Cutting Corners
Here’s the dirty little secret: people who go the “quick divorce” route often end up back in court. They’re the ones calling a lawyer two years later, panicked because their ex- won’t move out, or because they didn’t realize that a retirement account worth hundreds of thousands of dollars was ignored in the agreement. Suddenly, that $499 divorce turns into a five-figure litigation.
And unlike a latte order gone wrong, you can’t just “send it back” once a divorce judgment is entered. Fixing mistakes requires motions, hearings, and sometimes appeals. Translation: way more time, money, and stress than if you’d just slowed down and done it right the first time.
Why Taking Your Time Pays Off
Does this mean your divorce has to take years? No. A smart lawyer can help you move through the process efficiently, but not recklessly. Taking the time to negotiate, exchange financial disclosure, and put together a solid plan saves you from after-the-fact disasters.
Think of it this way: a quick divorce is like buying knockoff designer shoes. They look fine in the store, but the heel snaps in the middle of Times Square and suddenly you’re hobbling. An intentional divorce is the real thing: more investment upfront, but it carries you for the long haul. Timeless.
Final Word
In New York, we’re trained to want everything instantly. But when it comes to divorce, slower is often smarter. Take the time, ask the hard questions, and work with a lawyer who can spot the pitfalls before they become disasters. Because nothing about a “cheap, quick divorce” feels cheap once you’re back in court paying double.
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The Divorce Artist™️ 