Dear Men: Divorce Guilt Can Break Your Bank

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Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and alimony and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about ten years and at the time, he agreed to pay through the nose.

“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His guilt and a rushed desire to settle landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.

This isn’t the only case where I’ve encountered this type of divorce guilt that can plague the male primary income earner — particularly when he’s the one seeking the divorce. Continue reading “Dear Men: Divorce Guilt Can Break Your Bank”

Stop Painting Your Ex as a Horrible, Negligent Addict and Resolve Your Divorce Guilt

MAKESI’ve seen it in my practice a million times — a spouse comes up with a million reasons why their ex- is a horrible person, shouldn’t see the kids and should be in jail. But in the end, the kids are hurt by lack of access to both parents, both parties suffer in a torrid, expensive court case, and the “victim” comes off as a drama queen to friends, family and their employer.

The real culprit: Divorce guilt.

 

Continue reading “Stop Painting Your Ex as a Horrible, Negligent Addict and Resolve Your Divorce Guilt”