Women: Why You Need Your Own Bank Account

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Every married woman needs at least $5,000 in a bank account in her own name — no matter what her husband thinks.

Far too many women are going to reject this mandate as an act of marital treason. Let’s be clear: I didn’t say the account had to be a secret. I leave that up to the individual woman. Nor did I suggest that you shouldn’t care what your partner thinks. In a healthy relationship, you should absolutely care about his opinion. But you should have an account, regardless.

You’re an adult. You should have some access to cash in your own name, not because it is a “divorce slush fund,” but for scads of other reasons. Continue reading “Women: Why You Need Your Own Bank Account”

Divorce Is Not Revenge.

www.TheDivorceArtist.comA client that I’ll call “Tanya” had a problem. Her husband was not only sleeping with her best friend, but he ran up more than $35k in credit card debt to take his affair on a trip to Thailand. Tanya was humiliated and angry. “I have done everything for him and the kids while he’s been parading around his girlfriend — my best friend — behind my back!” she said. “He needs to pay for this; I want revenge.” Revenge. Payback. Vengeance. What better place than a divorce court to get revenge on your spouse, right?

But this was Tanya’s real problem: divorce is not revenge. And divorce court is absolutely not the place to seek retribution. Surprised? Here are my top 5 reasons why divorce is not the place to get revenge on your spouse: Continue reading “Divorce Is Not Revenge.”

Child-Support: Fair or Fail?

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Michael looked at me with a stunned glare. I re-ran the child support calculations again. After some (but not all) of his taxes were considered, the calculator showed the same number, 25% of his income for child support. “I knew I was going to pay; I just didn’t know it was going to be that much!”

Primary bread-winners repeat after me: you agreed to pay the bills during the marriage and you are stuck paying after the divorce.

Many times, the amount isn’t unfair, but rather the fact that you are forced to pay an ex-spouse (who probably gave you some emotional scars). And, on top of that, you have no ability to control how that money is spent (or if that money is even spent on the child — or her endless shoe collection).  Continue reading “Child-Support: Fair or Fail?”

Top Questions Asked By Bread-Winners In Divorce

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Everyone who is married at some point thinks about divorce. The longer the marriage, the more at stake: children, property, debts, and a lifetime of joy and sorrow.

Here is my run-down of the four most common questions that I hear from primary income earners when facing or contemplating divorce: Continue reading “Top Questions Asked By Bread-Winners In Divorce”