Tag: Divorce Guilt

Emotions in Divorce that can hurt your case.

Avoid These Four Relationship Pitfalls And Save Your Marriage

glovesWhat does a divorce lawyer know about saving marriages? You might be surprised. After so many clients, I’ve pin-pointed four relationship pitfalls that couples need to address if they want to avoid a seat at my desk:

1. The Sex Cycle

“Luke and Meg” sat across from one another in my office. A striking young couple, they met me for their first session of divorce mediation. They both agreed mediation would be better for their two-year-old son Josh. Less than thirty-minutes into the session, I could pin-point where their marriage had broken-down: sex. Or, rather, lack of sex and intimacy since the child was born. Continue reading “Avoid These Four Relationship Pitfalls And Save Your Marriage” →

Featured on The Huffington Post: Holidays Mean Waiting to Divorce

huffpostMy piece about those of you who are gutting it out for one last holiday before filing for divorce come January 1st has caught the attention of readers on The Huffington Post. Let’s have a discussion about whether the holidays are worth preserving or whether it may be more honest to ask for a divorce regardless of the timing in the comments here or on the HuffPo.

This holiday season, you are thinking: “Just one more time.” One more time around your mother-in-law’s nasty snide comments; one more draining day of yule-tide “merriment”; and one last New Year’s hurrah. After the confetti settles, the weight of the relationship will be too much. In fact, the stress could do you in. So you will say “never again,” and spend the next year (or more) getting divorced. And you are not alone.

The statistics overwhelmingly show that you, and many others like you, are struggling through one last marital holiday season. Every year, we in the divorce industry know that January 1 is met with a spike in divorce filings. After the tree lights come down, my phone lights up. The holidays have a special magic that no one wants to disturb. Divorce conversations are intentionally avoided, because who wants to mar this season with bad memories? Trust me: you can make it through this holiday.

Continue reading “Featured on The Huffington Post: Holidays Mean Waiting to Divorce” →

That Special Time of Year: Holidays Mean Waiting To Divorce

not-break-until-after-christmas-ecard-someecards

This holiday season, you are thinking: “Just one more time.” One more time around your mother-in-law’s nasty snide comments; one more draining day of yule-tide “merriment”; and one last New Year’s hurrah. After the confetti settles, the weight of the relationship will be too much. In fact, the stress could do you in. So you will say “never again,” and spend the next year (or more) getting divorced. And you are not alone. Continue reading “That Special Time of Year: Holidays Mean Waiting To Divorce” →

The Huffington Post Featured: Don’t Let Divorce Guilt Break Your Bank

huffpo

My piece on primary male bread winners and divorce guilt has been taken up by The Huffington Post. Let’s have a discussion about the ramifications of divorce guilt in the comments here or on the HuffPo.

Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and alimony and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about 10 years and at the time, he agreed to pay through the nose.

“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage, and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His guilt and a rushed desire to settle landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.

This isn’t the only case where I’ve encountered this type of divorce guilt that can plague the male primary income earner — particularly when he’s the one seeking the divorce. Continue reading “The Huffington Post Featured: Don’t Let Divorce Guilt Break Your Bank” →