Welcome to divorce in the digital age.
When people think of being served divorce papers, they often picture the dramatic movie version: someone in a hoodie jumping out of the bushes and slapping papers into your hand with a smug “You’ve been served!”
But in 2025, service of process has evolved, and in many cases, it’s gone digital.
In New York and other states, the law traditionally requires personal service of a divorce summons, meaning a third party must hand the papers directly to your spouse. This officially notifies them that the divorce has been filed and gives the court jurisdiction to move the case forward.
But what happens when your spouse can’t be found… or simply refuses to cooperate?
That’s where alternate service methods come in, and yes, that now includes digital platforms like email, text messaging, Facebook, and even Instagram.
How does it work?
You can’t just DM your spouse and call it a day. Courts require that you first make a diligent effort to locate and personally serve your spouse. If that fails, you can file a motion asking the court for permission to use an alternate method.
In the past, that typically meant publishing a legal notice in a newspaper. But with the decline in print readership, and the rise of digital communication, courts are recognizing that electronic service may be more effective and reliable.
If you can demonstrate that your spouse actively uses a particular platform (say, they recently read your message on Facebook Messenger or opened your email), a judge may allow you to serve them through that channel.
Why courts are saying yes
The goal of service isn’t to humiliate or ambush someone, it’s to make sure they’re aware of the case and have a chance to respond. If your spouse frequently ignores physical mail but responds to texts in 5 seconds? That’s probably your best bet.
Courts want service to be reasonably calculated to reach the other party and in many cases, digital methods are now more effective than traditional ones.
The bottom line
If your spouse is dodging service, don’t panic, and don’t assume newspaper ads are your only option. Ask your attorney about modern service methods. With the right motion and documentation, you may be able to get the green light to serve your spouse with a click.
The Divorce Artist™️ 