Interview: Child Support and Divorce: 8 Experts Give Their Best Advice

value questionA number of divorce professionals — including yours truly — spoke with Glass Jacobson’s Divorce Advisory Group about top tips in dealing with child support during your divorce. My number one tip: Continue reading “Interview: Child Support and Divorce: 8 Experts Give Their Best Advice”

As featured on the Huffpo: My Top Five Things Dads Should Know Before Setting Foot in Court

huffpostWhat happens when an actively involved dad is faced with a nasty, contentious custody battle?

When I say “active dad,” we are talking about more than changing a few diapers: you attend to the emotional needs of your kids and are genuinely involved in caretaking, potty training, homework, and tantrums. You’re involved in a real, meaningful way, and you intend to continue that involvement.

Here are the top five things that active fathers should know before they set foot in a courtroom — or click here to join the discussion on the Huffington Post.

Continue reading “As featured on the Huffpo: My Top Five Things Dads Should Know Before Setting Foot in Court”

The Huffington Post Featured: Don’t Let Divorce Guilt Break Your Bank

huffpo

My piece on primary male bread winners and divorce guilt has been taken up by The Huffington Post. Let’s have a discussion about the ramifications of divorce guilt in the comments here or on the HuffPo.

Andy was desperate: he owed more than half a million dollars in back child support and alimony and his ex-wife was seeking enforcement, including a violation for failure to pay, which would land him in jail for up to six months. They had been divorced for about 10 years and at the time, he agreed to pay through the nose.

“I felt bad,” he explained. “I was the one leaving the marriage, and at the time I was doing really well at work.” His guilt and a rushed desire to settle landed him with high payments and no assets (he gave her the house too). His payments became untenable when the economy soured and his job was cut.

This isn’t the only case where I’ve encountered this type of divorce guilt that can plague the male primary income earner — particularly when he’s the one seeking the divorce. Continue reading “The Huffington Post Featured: Don’t Let Divorce Guilt Break Your Bank”

Bread-Winners: Top Four Things You Ask When Faced With Divorce

confused-businessmanEveryone who is married at some point thinks about divorce. The longer the marriage, the more at stake: children, property, debts, and a lifetime of joy and sorrow.

Here is my run-down of the four most common questions that I hear from primary bread-winners facing or contemplating divorce: Continue reading “Bread-Winners: Top Four Things You Ask When Faced With Divorce”

Men: Top Three Tips To Avoid A “Mean Girl” Style Divorce

Pic from imdb.com
Pic from imdb.com

Good listening skills aren’t just important to relationships. They can also keep you out of jail.

A client, I’ll call him “Ted,” swore to me that “everything was fine” but then his wife slapped him with a restraining order. When he called to talk to her about it, Ted (unwittingly) violated the order and ended up under arrest – charged with a felony for violating a court order, as well as misdemeanor aggravated harassment for the phone call. “She didn’t have to do this,” he lamented. “If she wanted a divorce, she could have told me; we could have done this in a friendly way.”

I see it all the time: guys are dumbfounded that their wives take drastic measures to get their attention when they want a divorce. But it’s no surprise to me. Aside from being a woman and a divorce lawyer, I was also a “mean girl” in high school. I know how those b*tches operate. Here’s a few simple things to understand how your wife operates too. Continue reading “Men: Top Three Tips To Avoid A “Mean Girl” Style Divorce”

Bread-Winner: Know The Divorce Laws

gmpGentlemen, let me confirm what you have long suspected: if you are the primary income earner in your family, particularly where your wife has stayed at home, be prepared to pay in your divorce.

For the most part, laws have consistently leaned towards protecting women who do not work, who set aside careers (or never start one) and raise children. These laws favor the idea that there is an inherent value in raising children and tending to the family. Continue reading "Bread-Winner: Know The Divorce Laws"

Child-Support: Paying Your Fair-Share Or Funding Your Ex-Spouse’s Spending Spree?

2012-05-09_14-05-44_130Michael looked at me with a stunned glare. I re-ran the child support calculations again. After some (but not all) of his taxes were considered, the calculator showed the same number, 25% of his income for child support. “I knew I was going to pay; I just didn’t know it was going to be that much!”

Primary bread-winners repeat after me: you agreed to pay the bills during the marriage and you are stuck paying after the divorce.

Many times, the amount isn’t unfair, but rather the fact that you are forced to pay an ex-spouse (who probably gave you some emotional scars). And, on top of that, you have no ability to control how that money is spent (or if that money is even spent on the child — or her endless shoe collection).  Continue reading “Child-Support: Paying Your Fair-Share Or Funding Your Ex-Spouse’s Spending Spree?”