Don’t Ignore the Signs!
Are you getting the sense that something just isn’t right in your marriage, but you can’t quite put your finger on it?
You’re not imagining things. When someone is preparing to leave a marriage, they often show signs before they ever say the word “divorce.” And while no single behavior automatically means your spouse is planning to leave, a pattern of subtle (or not-so-subtle) shifts can be worth paying attention to, especially if they come on suddenly.
Here are some red flags you shouldn’t ignore:
1. They’ve Stopped Fighting
Sounds backwards, right? But when someone’s emotionally checked out, they often stop engaging altogether, even during conflict. Arguments require emotional investment. So if your spouse used to care about resolving disagreements and suddenly becomes indifferent or passive, it might not be peace you’re feeling, because it could be resignation.
A partner who’s already emotionally out the door may no longer see the point in fighting to fix things.
2. They’ve Become Secretive About Money
One of the biggest red flags in a marriage is a sudden shift around finances. If bank statements stop arriving, credit card bills disappear, or you’re suddenly locked out of joint accounts, that’s not just odd, but it may be intentional.
Spouses preparing for divorce often start moving money, opening new accounts, or quietly protecting financial resources before announcing their decision. If you’re being shut out of conversations about money, take note.
3. They Suggest “Taking a Break” or Sleeping Separately
A request to sleep in the guest room or “take space” might seem innocent (or even mature) but in some cases, it’s a trial separation in disguise. If your spouse suddenly needs emotional distance or physical space, they may be testing what life apart feels like before making a permanent move.
Of course, not every couple that sleeps apart is heading for divorce. But if this change comes without clear communication or feels emotionally loaded, pay attention.
4. They’re Spending More Time With New Friends, and Less Time at Home
Sudden social shifts can signal that someone is building a new support system or identity separate from the marriage. Maybe your spouse has joined a new gym, taken up solo hobbies, or started disappearing for hours without much explanation.
It could be innocent, or it could be an intentional move to emotionally detach and create distance before leaving.
5. They’re Either Unusually Agreeable… or Picking Constant Fights
When someone’s preparing to leave, their behavior may swing to extremes.
If they’re being overly kind or agreeable, it might be a way to avoid conflict before they drop the bombshell. On the flip side, if they’ve become increasingly critical, angry, or aggressive, they may be trying to provoke you to end the relationship just so they don’t have to.
So, What Should You Do?
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean divorce is inevitable, but it does mean you should start paying attention.
The best thing you can do? Talk to someone who knows what to look for. A qualified therapist or divorce attorney can help you get clarity and explore your options without making any sudden moves.
Planning ahead isn’t dramatic. It’s smart. Whether your marriage is truly ending or just in crisis, having the right support — legal, emotional, and financial — can make all the difference in how you move forward.
You don’t have to wait for things to fall apart to protect yourself.
The Divorce Artist™️ 